Dear Fans, Followers, I was reading through my fan mail, and I came across a lot of letters of people asking me how is it like in Jail? How are your cellmates? Guards? and the usual question, how do you get to tweet from Jail?? So I decided to respond to my many followers, and minions with this blog post!
My cell is quite modern, everything is finished in stainless steel or aluminum. Nothing glossy, it's got a nice matte look to it. My mattress is not as thick as I'd want it to be and I have one pillow. The sheets are a nice plain white, no patterns. I'm happy to say that my cell is "Green" the light on the ceiling is a compact fluorescent spotlight, too high for me to reach. (Otherwise I would have opened it, took out a small metal part, picked the lock and ran away, I'd do it for the adventure more than the need to really.) I have one small window that lets in natural light, sadly it doesn't have vintage vertical steel bars which I requested! I'm also unhappy that my clothes aren't black and white stripped "Jail Outfits" I think we need to call Sh. Mai to help us preserve the cultural and aesthetic aspect of being in Jail.
The food is actually quite good! Yes, we get served a lot of Daal, but at least it isn't Oatmeal! We also get a good amount of Chicken and Meat, not much of a seafood selection though! I'm unhappy with the emphasis on carbs (Bread & Rice) it has caused some of my cellmates to put on more weight, yes that includes Ebrahim Sharif.
The guards don't bother us much these days, and we don't get questioned as much as the first few weeks. The only person the security forces love questioning is Abdul Jalil Al-Singace, because under pressure he involuntarily pees and as Bahrainis we can't get over watching a grown man pee in his pants! Ebrahim Sharif is the person who gets tortured the most, usually with a Snickers Bar. It's very brutal they unwrap it and dangle it in front of him. You wouldn't believe the things he's said, but the thing is you can't take what he says for real in those situations, ahh the inhumanity sometimes gets to me. The person I can't figure out is Abdul Hadi Al-Khawaja the father of the two girls. He talks to himself quite often, and asks us to punch him in the face before any kind of media appearance. I'm usually the first one to volunteer, I can't get over the Joy of a grown man begging me to punch him. And, finally Al-Muqdad really annoys us with his long daily sermons. Not my favorite guy.
We don't go outdoors much, mostly because it's really dusty. I don't understand how people actually live in Al-Door. We do get access to TV, although it is mostly on BTV. And, yes we do wake up at the crack of dawn, and line up. I've memorized the National Anthem by heart. I tried to get them to film us dance Philipino Style like the guys in Cebu, but MOI had none of it. Al-Muqdad wanted us to do a ceremonial dance in honor of Al-Hussain. I wanted us to dance to "Just Dance" by Lady GaGa. Ebrahim Sharif didn't want to dance, he thinks we should all write are memoirs like Nelson Mandela and Al-Singace keeps wanting to do the Chicken Dance. All in all the day goes by quickly. And I have a blackberry courtesy of the guards, we do odd jobs in the laundry, and kitchen. I find those to be interesting, nothing like adding a little Chili to Ebrahim Sharif's food and watching him suffer with heartburn <Evil Cackle>. Life is what you make of it, and I'm the happiest I've ever been.
