Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Al-Wefaq o Al-Nefaq

Here we go again, if you take part in the elections you go straight to HELL!  Here is a simple guide if you took part in these years:

2002 = HELL
2006 = HEAVEN
2010 = HEAVEN
2011 = HELL

I think I know why, you see if you add 2+0+0+2=4 and if you add 2+0+1+1=4, Thus 4=4=HELL - Interestingly my cell number is also 4 but anyway as I was saying...
IF you add 2+0+0+6=8 & 2+0+1+0=3 Therefore, HELL*HELL= HEAVEN so 2006 was ok!! and any ODD number is also HEAVEN because there is only ONE GOD! 

This is basically the calculations and equations used by HQ in Duraz to decide on whether taking part in the elections leads to HELL or HEAVEN, and based on that whether the "People" of Bahrain should partake in them!! 

Secondly, the letter that was sent by the Minister of Justice to Al-Wefaq has shook their grounds and saddened them.  They came out crying HOW DARE YOU?? The premise of his letter was dude you don't speak for the entire population! (Al-Sha3b) and because everyone who isn't pro-Wefaq or Lulu is an infidel according to Al-Wefaq you can understand the outrage!!

But Al-Wefaq if anything are a theocracy in action!  An Islamic Empire of Iran style rule.  It's not whether their allegiance is to Iran or not.  It's the same destructive mentality that has locked Europe into the Dark Ages for hundreds of years.  Basically here is a guy, and he is HOLY! You'd think as a human race we'd grow out of ideas like that but apparently we haven't.  
















Sunday, August 21, 2011

Why we should invade Qatar!

Yes, I said it - INVADE.  If anything I'm known to be extreme, but lets analyze this:

Their First major #FAIL was when they fabricated evidence and submitted it to the international court of justice regarding Hawar!  They were caught red-handed, and they had to admit their failed attempt publicly.   

Second, although they maintain no real army or air force; their budget for such purposes is higher than Bahrain's Military budget by a lot!  

Third, the obvious corruption in electing Bin Hammam over Sh. Salman bin Ebrahim Al-Khalifa of Bahrain as AFC President (FIFA), hosting the World Cup in 45-50C Heat... and their attempt to get Bin Hammam to win the Presidency of the FIFA.  These attempts to buy their way into organizations has to be stopped.  So the question is what is the solution? What is the solution to a country that secretly signs deals with IRAN and ISRAEL behind the backs of its neighbors!  Do they really need to trade with Israel for their economy to survive?

Steps We Need to Take:

1. Increase the military budget 5 times
2. Eliminate the housing budget & the housing bank
3. Freeze all current and future projects till after the invasion
4. Double the size of the 7alwa Shwaiter Factory!
5. Raise taxes
6. Buy weapons from the USA/UK/Russia & China


INVADE


Steps to be taken after the Invasion:

1.  Use the 7alwa to win hearts & minds 
2.  Use the new money to build housing and services for Qataris & Bahrainis
3.  Sell Harrods and any Football team bought immediately!
4.  Invest in Education & Healthcare
5. Create the Bahraini-Qatari Victory Bridge!
6. Make one RED Flag, however, the Royal Car would be Maroon to make it fair!
7. Create a Parliament in Qatar merge it with Bahrain and implement one vote one voice so everyone is happy :) And introduce Unions and LMRA 
8. Give me Al-Jazeera


And everyone lives happily ever after.



Friday, August 19, 2011

MushaMark

I would like to introduce my new line of greeting cards.  I call them the MushaMark!

Happy Birthday:
- Happy Sweet Sixteen; ...... Now Cover Your Hair!
- Happy 70th Birthday; ...... There is No Way I Could have Set so many Candles on the Cake so I just set it on FIRE!

Sorry You Lost:

- your Revolution; ........... Sha7waaaaaal!
- all your Court cases; .......... Next time don't get Caught!
- your credibility; ........... Don't worry you can still win a Pulitzer!

Congratulations:
- On Being Naturalized; ...... You Are Now a Target!
- On Your Graduation; .......  You Are Now Eligible For Unemployment Benefits!
- On Your Marriage; ....... Many More to Come!
- On Your Mut3a; ....... May You Enjoy the Next Hour!
- On being Released from Jail; ....... Are you Working with the CIA? 
Thank You:

-  For Coming to my Protest; ...... Next Time Bring your own Molotov! 
-  For Breaking the Law on my behalf; ..... May your actions never be caught on Camera!
- For not Voting; ...... It's the best way towards a Democracy!

Holiday:

- Happy Valentine's Day; ....... I Love you like I Love my other Wives!
-  Happy Valnetine's Day; ....... My LuLu Lover!!
- Ramadan Kareem; ....... Only Burn & Pillage after Futoor!!